peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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