Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
