whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
