so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize