So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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