What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize