idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
