walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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