people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
