so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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