I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
