READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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