Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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