i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
