found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
