My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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