finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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