he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize