OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
