We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
