that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
