I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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