with your own penis?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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