we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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