the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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