We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
