All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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