I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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