As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
