And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
