Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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