yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
