I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
