I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
