I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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