so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
