sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
