Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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