So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I will die if light touches me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
