Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
