Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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