I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
