We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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