fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
