you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
