he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
