The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
