Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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