did you get engaged???
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
