respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
