Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
