census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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