The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
