How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
