is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
