you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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