Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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