I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
where are you?
Hypothermia
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
