the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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