Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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