I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
