how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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