On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
why is half of my head shaved?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
