I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
