id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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