What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
