plz talk dirty to me
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
