I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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