It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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