five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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