I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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