hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
