is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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