Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize