So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
