Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
