Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize