the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
this will be a night to untag.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
