This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
is that a dick in a sweater?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
